Words of Wisdom...

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
Henry David Thoreau

"All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible."
T.E. Lawrence

Friday, August 8, 2008

Captivating.

Have you ever noticed how something so small can captivate your attention?

Such as raindrops on the sidewalk. I just sat outside for 30 minute doing nothing but listening to the rain hit the cement.... letting my mind wander over my life and the changes that are occurring. It's a little overwhelming at this juncture.... but eventually things will smooth out.

Its weird how someone can capture your attention as well. A simple glance into their eyes and you never forget what you saw there. Their eyes, their lips, their hands, their ears, their nose. Everything about them is so fascinating. Not necessarily the best eyes, or the best lips you've ever seen.... but fascinating none-the-less. Something you cannot look away from no matter how hard you try. You mull over the brooding soul you saw in the eyes, the smoke dancing off their lips.

Kinda ridiculous actually.

I realized tonight that my mind works way too fast. I am constantly thinking. I come up with little jokes in my head when someone says something. Regardless of what it is.... I find something in it that sparks 2100 thoughts... all at once. One of those thoughts is so cliche and random that it makes me burst out into sudden laughter. No one clearly understands why I'm laughing.... hell, I don't even totally realize it.

I need to shut down my mind before it spontaneously combusts. I explained to my friend Rachel... that my brain is like a runaway train.... it keeps going and going and going, faster and faster, never actually crashing into anything.... just forever a runaway train.

Apparently I'm less likely to get alzheimers because my mind works overtime.

Guess thats a good thing.

Or.... maybe I could use an escape from this wretched torture. I cannot sleep due to the overwhelming thoughts. I have become an extreme form of insomniac. A shadow of myself. I'm constantly tired without the ability to sleep. I am tired when I am reading, so I put my book down and turn off the light.... at this point I am immediately awake. Unable to sleep.....

I think I'm in the 7th circle of hell.... only reserved for the thieves and the over-thinkers, and the dreaded unfaithful lovers.

I like to think of peoples punishments in terms of Greek mythology. When someone has done something bad in their life, they are sent to Hades for eternity.... Hades is the Greek version of hell. At this point they are put into a situation that they are unable to control and it constantly repeats itself.

such as having to roll a rock up a hill each and everyday, but as soon as it nears the top..... it rolls back down. Or dying of thirst and being chained to the middle of a puddle of fresh water.... and whenever you bend down to drink.... the water retreats, just far enough that you cannot get a taste.

Or my personal favorite: the man who is strapped to a pole and everyday he has his liver eaten out by a vulture.... this vulture then consumes his liver. But... everyday the liver grows back inside the man so that the vulture has a meal for the next day.

I personally believe my personal hell is right now.... not being able to stop thinking.

Maybe something worse. Its easier for me to think of things for other people... not necessarily myself.

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One of my favorite music artists is coming out with an album while I am going to be out of the country (October 28th to be exact). I will freak out to the max if I cannot get my grubby hands on it.

Sooner or later it will be mine.

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