Give Thanks, then get off the shitter....

I feel that I should keep up with my yearly tradition of making a blog about what and who I am thankful for. I haven't actually taken the time recently to be thankful for much. I really should rethink that and be more thankful for the gifts in life.

I'm growing increasingly cynical by the day. I think I am negative and cynical and pessimistic by nature.... its in my genes (maybe in my jeans? haha) its in my blood. Whatever. Even cynical people know what to be thankful for and what to not be thankful for. ...

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I'm thankful for my parents. This is the first time in a long time that I have included them on my list of things to be thankful for. Mostly because we have been clashing in recent years, as most parents do with their rebellious child. They have been surprisingly supportive of my decision to come to Korea. I was expecting, my mom especially, to flip her lid. I thought she would cry and beg me to stay home and accuse me of trying to break up the family. That wasn't the case. They helped me prepare to go, and they saw me off at the airport. I'm not even going to say they were glad to get rid of me, because if that were the case, my mom wouldn't be so diligent about emailing me daily. I love and appreciate their emails that they send me. It gives me something to look forward to during the hard days at my job. Whenever I feel down, I look at my inbox, and there's another email from my mom. And she went through all the trouble of making me a felt Christmas tree to hang in my apartment along with wrapped gifts. I am so thankful and I owe them a lot in life. I'm only beginning to realize this.

I'm thankful for my brother Steve. He and I spent many years fighting a losing battle against each other. Neither one was ever meant to win, and neither was meant to lose. It was just incredibly stupid to ever think we needed to fight. For a year or so after he graduated college I struggled to formulate a relationship with him. I always enjoyed him in that year, but he was never as open with me as I felt he should be. I'm an open book and I know most people are not. I appreciate Steve for being solid and unchanging. My parents needed someone like him while I was out and about doing things that disappointed them. I appreciate that now that he is older he is able to appreciate the wild side of me. He sees the humor in my personality and we are able to get along so much better now than we ever have.

I am thankful for my GMA. She may be crazy and we might fight like dogs sometimes, but she has always been there for me. When the rest of my grandparents gave up on my brother and I, she stood by us. She's always been there and despite all her crazy antics, she is an amazing individual.

I am thankful for my friends back home... I have so many I want to thank, but I don't want to write for forever.

So I'm going to thank them in a short message

Theresa-- for being there for me like any sister should be. I may not be related, but I've always felt like I was. You welcomed me into your life and home and you have always been there for me when I need someone to talk to or someone to hang out with and do nothing. You are hilariously funny and half the time you don't even know it. Your heart is so huge that I'm shocked you can even fit it in your chest. You care so much about other people that there is rarely room to care about yourself. I appreciate so much of what you have done for me and my friends over the years. I know we will be friends forever.

Bekah-- Despite the fact that we rarely see each other anymore, you have provided me with the security in myself to be who I should be. No one else has made me realize that I am perfectly great the way I am. You brought me to life all those years ago and no one can take that from you. You are the best thing that has happened to me in my life in so many ways and you will always own a piece of my heart.

Caitlin-- Even though we haven't known each other long, you have opened my eyes to a whole other world. You have brought out the emotional side in me. I side I have tried so hard to bury. You made me FEEL again. You showed me that it was ok to cry. You showed me what true friendship is all about. You seem to know when I'm down and you are willing to drive to the ends of the earth for me. No one has been a truer friend. You and Paul showed me what true love despite all costs really looks like. I will never let you forget that you guys are the couple that renewed my belief in true love.

Rachel-- For opening up to me and letting me into your life. You are a truly amazing person who means more to me than I ever imagined. You have a sarcastic sense of humor which compliments my own. You aren't afraid to be who you are and believe what you want to believe. You made me think hard about what I believed in and learn to defend them regardless of the situation.

Kat-- You are an extremely positive influence on my life. You made me realize that its ok to be honest with yourself about your religion and beliefs. I tried for so long to be this girl who doesn't talk about religion. You made me realize that its ok to be open about it and still have friends who don't believe it. I was always scared that people would run away if they found out I had things I believed in. You are an extremely strong person and no one makes me laugh til I cannot breathe like you do.

Jeremy-- Even though we have had some world famous fights... if fights could go super sonic, ours would have been nuclear. I think part of the reason I get so mad at you is because I love you. I cannot stand the idea that you and I would not be friends at some point. There was not a day during our fight that I didn't think of you and hope that things would get fixed at some point. I'm so thankful that things are better between us. You make me laugh so hard at the stupidest things. I can be my silly self around you and you never think I'm being weird and dumb. You give the best bear hugs and even when you shove me into closets, I know that you care about me too. You're the best

I miss you all everyday.

There are tons of other people I would love to thank, but this list is getting out of hand.

Lastly I want to thank my coworkers

When I came to Korea, I came here alone. I had no one. There is no doubt in my mind that I would have failed here if it wasn't for my coworkers. Mike took me under his wing and helped me figure things out. He's my sounding board for all things that piss me off. Because there's a good chance those same things have pissed him off. He's my favorite "Negative Nancy". Christine has been more helpful than she ever needed to be. She helped me figure out everything that I needed to do at the school. Without her I would have floundered on many occasions. She supported me and gave me the necessary tools to be successful in this school. Erik... eternally optimistic and cheerful Erik. I have nicknamed him "Fuzzy". Not only does that describe his hair and beard, but it describes his personality well. He's the type of guy that is always happy. Even if he is upset by something, he manages to not be mad at people uninvolved in the situation. He is always good for a laugh or a sarcastic remark. The most random things happen to him and he takes it all in stride. Michelle... my fellow Phoenix, AZ pal. We have this unspoken bond that dates back to the moment we met in the airport. There is no one that knows you better than someone who cried with you within 3 minutes of meeting. She makes me laugh constantly and she takes everything in stride. She laughs loudly when she finds things funny, and she's comfortable with herself. I appreciate people who can be completely honest about who they are. Kristen.... has been one of the greatest people recently. She was my first official friend in Korea. She showed me around and we had a lot of great times together. When I didn't have internet she let me come us hers every night if I wanted. I will definitely miss her when she leaves in 3 weeks.


Thats about it.

I'm thankful for the U.S. and home. Everyday I am more and more thankful

I'm especially thankful for music. I wouldn't make it through daily life without it. It drowns out the voices in my head that drive me crazy day by day. If not for music I wouldn't be here today. It has brought me inner peace.