June

This month has been especially hard for me. The trials and tribulations that I've been put through have really tested my ability to survive the rough times.
I know that things can always be worse, but there are moments where things just seem to pile on top of one another until they cannot possible stay in balance. And then everything comes tumbling down. I'm currently waiting for everything to just come tumbling down on top of me.
In the past month I have found myself without a job, searching throughout the city for any job. Anything. I finally was able to get a job at a sushi restaurant, Tanked Fish because a friend of mine worked there. It wasn't my dream job, obviously, but a job is a job in this economy.

Things were going well for about a week. Then one day I was out to lunch/shopping with my friend Teresa and I started not being able to breathe. I couldn't seem to get a deep breath into my lungs. My tongue then started to swell up and my body was covered in hives. She rushed me to the ER where they immediately admitted me. I was surrounded my nurses sticking IVs into me and giving me shots and breathing tubes. It was terrifying.
I apparently had an anaphylactic allergic reaction. I could have died. The ER doctor was freaking out and kept telling me that I could die and they were doing everything for me that they could. He even told my mom that I could die. My mom said something about when I get better, and he says "you are assuming she's going to make it". I couldn't believe he said that to my mother.
Then I got to stay in the ICU unit overnight with all the people that they thought were going to die at any moment. I was apparently at that high of a risk of relapsing. Probably the scariest day of my life.
When I was finally released from the hospital I had to get what is called an Epipen. Basically I have to carry this thing around with me everywhere just in case this shock happens again. Because if it happens again, I will only have a mere 3 minutes to inject myself before I die. So this Epipen has to be with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life. (Not my idea of fun).
Things finally were going ok because I was out of the hospital. Whew. life was good.

Then I started to get sick again. My throat closed up only 5 days after I left the hospital. I went to urgent care and turns out I had a severe case of strep throat. Wtf?

Among all the little shitty things that have happened in the midst of all of this, I just don't know how I've managed to keep going and keep smiling.

Then today I was sitting at my apartment thinking about how I was finally feeling a little better. I could breathe. It didn't hurt like hell to swallow...

And I get a call on my phone, goes to voicemail. I listen to it. It is Tanked Fish. They are 'letting me go'. Tanked Fish is owned by the same people that own the neighboring restaurant Madi G's. Madi G's is always empty of customers. So they are selling Madi G's to someone which means they have to close it down. All of the people that work at Madi G's are being transferred over to Tanked Fish. Unfortunately that means there are TONS more people at Tanked than they need. So they started firing people from the bottom up. Which means me.

So I've been in the hospital twice, gotten countless meds, been fired... wtf else can go wrong? And this has all happened between June 5th and today, June 17th. 12 days. I can't believe it.

I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I want the month to end. I can't take much more.