Life

I have been thinking a lot recently... well more like in the last year about things I want out of life.

The important things obviously take a more important role in my thinking than the others. There are many things that I would like to try to do with my life that if I don't accomplish them, I won't feel incomplete.

There are those things though that I would feel incomplete without. I am, in myself, a whole person and I'm happy with who I am. I become happier daily with the person I have turned out to be in life. I think that I am an intelligent person, I care about others, I make people laugh, I can hold an intelligent conversation, I can spell most words, I am adventurous, I am daring, but I'm also level-headed and think things through when I know I should. I have something called COMMON SENSE that I have noticed that a lot of people do not have.

Another quality that I love and hate about myself is the fact that I know exactly what I want and I don't settle for anything less than perfection. I use this for my shopping as well.... I picture exactly what I want in my head and I don't buy anything until I find it. This has made for a really great wardrobe. ;) This has kept me from many disastrous situations and relationships. I could have dated all over Phoenix if I wanted to, but I decided to keep my shit to myself and not be a whore. I want my love life to be special.

Call me old fashioned, but I want the person I'm with for the rest of my life to be the one and only love of my life. I'm not satisfied with just settling for whomever is around. I don't believe that anyone should settle for anything less than their perfect match.

Maybe I'm a fool because I believe that each and every person has that one person out there that completes them. Some people find them early in life and some people find them later. But most people find them eventually.

I believe that I will find that person, and when I do, it will be perfect. I will know it. I will fight with them like crazy, but I will love them with every fiber of my being. They will make me laugh hysterically, harder than I've ever laughed before, but they will also be able to share their thoughts with me and make me think of things in ways I never thought of before.

When I was younger (and during certain points in my present life...) people constantly said to me "You are too picky", "You should just try going out with different guys... see how it goes". I don't think thats the way to find anyone special. Being picky isn't a bad thing. Being picky means I know what I want. Being picky means that I have put some serious thought into it and I refuse to waste my time or the guys' time.

Dating around is a complete cluster fuck of a bad idea. Yes... Let's date a bunch of guys I'm not remotely interested in and hope that some sort of feeling develops.

I have always lived my life moment by moment.

If I want to go to LA, I pick up and go. Bekah and I have gone to LA multiple times with 3 hours of planning. I'm very spontaneous and I very much believe that my immediate gut feeling is always right. I trust my gut more than I trust any single person in the world.

I know what I want in life. And dating some loser guy I'm not sure about, but I'm too lost in myself to know that I would be ok with out him...... isn't the way to live life.

Being alone is only for the strong willed and those with hearts the size of Texas.

For the first time in my life, I'm really happy being the way I am. I need to surround myself with friends who have the same goals as me and who don't look down on me because I chose to be alone.

I just had a break-through :)