Catch 22

I'm at a point in my life where uncertainty is a huge roadblock.

I am out of school for the first time IN MY LIFE since I was a toddler.... I have a college degree. I have the entire world as my oyster and can do what I please. I am young... unattached... free spirited.

I have dreams upon dreams that the average person wouldn't even think of attempting. But I want is to be extraordinary. I don't want ordinary life. I don't want the house with 2.5 kids and a dog. I don't want that. No way Jose, Pedro or Jesus.

But. At this point in my life... at this JUNCTURE to use a large intimidating word (actually... it's not so large and less than intimidating... regardless....) I am standing at a fork in the road... with no idea what to do.

I always try to plan out the next.... week or month of my life. So I have something to work toward. But on Sunday (last week.... the 20 something of July) I was faced with a complete turn-around. What I thought was going to be an amazing summer.... turned out to be sub-par and less than stellar. All of a sudden I was where I hadn't expected to be for over a month..... with nothing planned. Nothing.

I feel like I'm on a desert island. With no real escape plan. With no branches to make a raft like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. No volleyball even for company. I'm on a desert island with NOTHING but sand.

Screw sand... you can't make a raft out of sand.

Now... I am in desperate need of a new apartment... desperate. And I cannot move. I am stuck because of money. While I am looking for a job...... the money situation is steadily getting worse.

Being out of college sucks.