Why is it that while I'm so happy with things I can't help but pick apart the smallest thing??
I always find friendships that are so great, then I pick them apart at the small imperfect seams. Eventually they unravel and blow up in my face like 10 lbs of tnt.
I don't know if it is my ultimate absence and unavailability to be confided in.... but I feel left out of things.
Like I'm the 'wild" friend that everyone keeps around cause my life is so exciting.
I'm really not that exciting.
I live in a van (well.... not permanently... but for the summer)
I have an All Access Pass to Mayhem tour
Maybe its my inability to get married and settle down like everyone else.
believe you me.... if you keep up with this blog and read it regularly.... (oh my god, i have to change the song on my itunes shuffle. its my "rainforest sounds" and it sounds like someone pissing)
anyway.... if you are a 'kate's blog regular' you will come to realize that this "Unmarried status" is not necessarily by choice.
Why do I feel like...... a second rate friend????
Why...... do I feel like I just tag along with people in life??
Why do people feel that they can say mean things to me?? and that saying "JUST KIDDING" makes it ok???
Why do some people never say nice things to those that they consider friends??
Sometimes all it takes is a, "I'm glad you're in my life" to make someone feel really great.
But I don't think I'll hear that much anytime soon.
blah.
I have blogged too much today. But I never have enough "writing therapy".
1 comment:
Glad you have a personal blog. Mine's just about cooking--shhhhh don't tell people I am a nerd.
That stinks to feel like you are a second rate friend. I feel like that too sometimes. You're not my "crazy" friend, if it's any consolation. I think you are smart and responsible. We're just not bffs cause I just don't see you enough. Maybe that's what's going on with the people or person in question? Anyway, glad to have you in my life :)
-Julie
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