Traumatic

this past couple days has been an emotional rollercoaster.

mostly downhill.

yesterday my friend Caitlin came over to cheer me up. She brought me out of my funk and made me smile again. She took care of me and made me realize that true friendship is hard to come by.

and that I have friends that won't stab me in the back..

those friends that DID stab me in the back are done for. Its sad to say, but I fell for it SO long that at this point, its heartbreaking to say that its over.

I'm the type of person that gives people the benefit of the doubt repeatedly. I never seem to learn from my mistakes.

I have a hardened heart from past lives and past altercations with "loved" ones..... but I still manage to love. I still manage to care. I still manage to hurt.

And I hurt now.

I hurt a lot.